Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Cozying up to critters

Note: Planet Blacksburg, while a site I recommend you check out, started taking a while to post my columns (I suppose they have a limited summer staff). So, I decided to post a column I wrote at the beginning of May but never managed to get submitted. The below commentary was written the first week of May 2008.

The Tampa Tribune reported Sunday that Florida state lawmakers decided bestiality would remain legal in the sunshine state. Sadly enough, several states still have no law against the practice of sex with animals. Perhaps even sadder is the need for such laws in the first place.

Maybe it should be common sense that screwing Spot is just sick and twisted, but there are plenty of such deranged individuals in our country these days. Therefore, the states yet to make a law against fornicating with Fido should do so quickly. How was it even a question for Florida lawmakers? Why was it not a unanimous vote to just say no to copulating cows and to making love instead of clones with sheep?

How does a legislative discussion go when it comes to bestiality? Do some argue that intercourse with livestock is freedom of expression? It is ironic that government officials will not make an obviously needed law against banging billy goats, but they instead are more concerned with a few homosexuals who just want to be able to share their benefits with a loved one.

Regardless of how you feel about issues involving sexuality, you’d be hard-pressed to find someone who supports bestiality that hasn’t socked it to the family pet once or twice. Well, I guess we all know now what Florida lawmakers really meant when they said they were Gators fans — just watch out for those teeth!

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